Monday, January 16, 2006
Brokeback Mountain
I'm back from finally watching the movie I've been wanting to see for so long. I wrote about 5 or 6 pargraph's on my feelings after watching it, but tried adding pictures and somehow deleted everything I wrote so I'm aggravated now. I have been anxiously waiting the screening of "Brokeback Mountain" for some time now. Mike and I went to the 12:50 viewing of it today with our friend Becky and her mom. I'm not sure if it sold out, but the movies were definitely full. So guess I'll keep it short this time. Or maybe I'll just write more later, because I don't think I can quite capture in words what I wrote earlier and don't really feel like trying. It was a beautiful movie. The love story I've been wating for for a long time. As I sat in the movies holding hands with Mike and not feeling the least bit embarrassed or wondering what anyone might say or feel. I though maybe this is just the start, and maybe more love stories will be written now. This movie was sad and I don't want to ruin it by telling anything. The most beautfiul scene and one that I hold onto was towards the end and Jack is thinking about Ennis leaving, he's thinking when they were young and Ennis was leaving and here he is so many years later and Ennis is still leaving. But the vision he has in his head of a younger Ennis and the loving way he was with him. I felt myself evaluating things in my life compared to Ennis and Jack in the movie and what they went through. On the one hand, their story makes me feel so lucky--it has shown me that things have been so easy for me, and that I should I really appreciate everything I have. On the other hand, it makes me feel like such a coward for not being bolder about living my life more fully, as who I really am. Since it has all been so easy for me, why didn't I do more, try harder, have higher expectations, rise to challenges rather than just settling or making easy choices in my life? Other people have said it, and it's so true--Brokeback has made me realize the trivial things in my life, and has made me want to narrow my life down to what is important and essential. No more wasting time. I don't want to come to the realization to late in life. Another thing in this movie is the name Ennis, the guy Heath Ledger plays. That is my middle name, my father's and my grandfather's first name. How ironic. I'll probably write on this movie later. I loved it! I could write for hours on it right now, but I thought I better give the person in the room with me some attention.
